Finally saw his wedding photos today. Wonder why I so kpo sometimes. But alright la, I don't feel anything. I am just curious bah abt who is the final person. I always felt that it is a blessing to have loved someone who also loves you back the same before at least once in your life. Everyone has this 'dream partner' image with certain criteria, but usually will not get what he/she wants. Because even when you meet such a person, there are just no feelings. People you like may not like you and people who like you may not be those you like too. So it requires some kind of affinity and fate bah for two persons to be in love and maybe even for two persons to have known each other before. Though degrees of separation is small, it is still some kinda fate that you run into the person once in your lifetime right?

I am on sick leave again today. Feel damn bad, I better buck up in May onwards. I am getting myself a bad record. Recently, just curious abt why girls can get so desperate sometimes - due to some incidents I heard and things I have been reading abt. I still feel that jing1 chi2 of a woman is important. Because it is an identity of a person as well as a woman. Being too desperate or being too much of a pushover is not the way. If certain things are yours, they will be yours. And I hate catfights. So, I will avoid such women if I ever have to deal with them. If I ever have to deal with such women in my future relationships, I will take it as a real test to the relationship. Real feelings can withstand tests that's what I always feel. But then, in this current world and for myself, I don't think I can experience real feelings anymore. I am referring to real feelings both ways. So... that would mean my future relationships may fall to temptations and third parties? Yeah, maybe. Well, I guess I should change my statement to only real committments to relationships and marriages can withstand these tests.

Sighs, sth is affecting me today I don't know why. I hope I will be alright soon or get over it soon or get a solution soon. I won't fight too much for things nowadays. I shall let it be. Im too tired of it.