Another few months passed again. Recently, got back into contact with and heard from some old frens, with some once-very-impt pple in my life. Feels weird I dont know why. That everyone is on a very different path now when we used to walk the same one. And positions of everyone in everyone's else's heart has changed. I felt unused to it. Maybe I ve been taking some things for granted. Always thought some things will always remain the same. But they don't.

I guess I just need to accept the facts and remind myself all is over even though I miss some of those days in 06 and 07. Those days of my first alcohol, mad nights, freedom in 06.. It was the year of transition between the younger innocent girl to a more mature adult as I see and experience more things. It felt like I grew up overnight. Then in 07.. those nights at st james, continued nights of music and dancing followed by my addiction to alcohol.... Oh my gdness. short period of intensive madness. I really loved it then.

Somehow my health went down in 08..and things happened in 08..that pulled me out of that path.. Life got more serious.. love appears and disappears.. freedom found and lost. And now Im staring at the 25th year in my life. I have lots of ideals I want to fulfil but am a little disappointed that I won't be able to. Would have wished for a stable rs now at the phase of planning future routes followed by owning a house together by 27 and getting married by 28 (after a yr of planning in the midst of renovating hse etc). N of coz travel Europe before 30. Yeah... that's my ideal. Really really dreamed of that. Once in a while, I felt that I am so ready to settle down already. But coz of the distance from the ideal, my insecurity just makes me feel a bit dejected and made me wana return to my age of freedom and mad nights out.

My fortune teller says I have a life that leans towards marrying a divorced man. haha. Maybe then it is possible to realise my dreams? Ahhh. crap. gtg. continue another time.