It is such a disappointment to have the same encounter the second time in less than half a year. But yet Im more tolerant this time, why.. Just because someone just keeps reminding me of mn? Why is there that resemblance.... :( That resemblance is not a good thing, I dun wana go through the same torture again but sometimes it just feels so hard resisting that spark and that resemblance. Argh.

I talked to my male buddy about it, and guess what, he said that unfortunately he's also one such 'bad' guy. We are close friends, so of coz I know he's one jerk himself in relationships, but not to the extent of two timing or what. Somehow, makes it much easier for me to talk abt it since he can offer me the exact right perspective from the guy's view. And I can scold his kind of guys and he wun be offended. So as a friend, he advised me to avoid it coz he doesnt wana c me getting hurt yet as a guy, he is that kinda guy that he advised me against. What an irony. Are most guys like that? If they can want to protect their female frens in this way, why cant they just stop being jerks themselves in order to protect their loves?

I watched Music n Lyrics. Andddd...... the show is simply fantastic, I really love the music and lyrics esp the song below. Just the right song to fit into my life while moving to this new phase. This song makes me happy and Ive been playing it non stop for the morning. The plot is simple, it is more of a comedy than romance, but maybe the music component of the show makes it very attractive to me. The feeling of composing and everything is just so great I dunno, mabe it's just me. I can feel my heart opening up abit more recently, but whoever that 'you' might be in e context of the song, I hope eventually when I meet him, he feels the same way too. But kinda still find rs nowadaes brittle and susceptible to falls, so Im not entirely optimistic for a long term partner still. Perhaps a short term romance is all I can ever find.

Way back into love (Music and Lyrics)

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration 
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love 

And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

oh no oh no.. why am i worrying abt hw i perform in front of someone, how i act like in front of someone.. n regretting wat i did. argh. wats with mi??? shucks.... is it gone? why like that =( i havent cared abt the way i am in front of anione for so darn long. n nw im regretting being rude. realised after erm few days? awwwww. ive killed my own chance.

Why is it that the person im more interested in just dun take any action while those im not interested in just keep trying, keep impressing. Yah perhaps other gers in my shoes will be impressed by some of the tings the latter grp of guys are doing. But im not, im curious in pple that din even try to impress. I assume im jus curious, yah not interested ok haha. At least not yet if it's gona be. This is weirddd. But my friend said this is a gd sign for me coz it means ive finally started to open up abit more and be more receptive. But unfortunately receptive towards someone passive? gada..... =( mabe its just temporal curiosity.

Crazy me been so obsessed with a forum recently, makes mi wana try so mani skin n cosmetics products alamak gona go broke lidat if i keep getting tempted. Wana find auctions to buy the tings i want le. Reali bored reading the soci text.. this is my one week brk away from thesis n one week of sociology. Enjoying two hk shows tt im following recently n peekvid. Gona keep up with sex n the city finalli watched the fuck buddy episode its so funni but I tink it happens everywhere. Sometimes Im just wondering what the heck is sex eh, different in every society everi environment. No longer a taboo in conversations as in e past, a norm in e present. Hmmm. Am I not following the trend or am I just that part of the minority ard huh.. N especialli abt having sex with strangers, short term flings/affairs with no strings attached-how come guys can do it so easily?

Arh got a call cont next time