I just had this feeling recently that hey hf u have misjudged so many things and have again overestimated someone again. Yeah, I guess it is faith and trust that leads to that. It takes a lot to have faith and trust in someone, and once broken once, twice.. that's it. I will stick to my final conclusion and will never, ever change again. It is scary when someone can say certain words with so much determination and certainty, only to act in a contrary manner just shortly after. It goes to show how much determination and will a person has in wanting to achieve his goals. And about a person's principles. It is disappointing because I believe in those words and giving things a probability of change. But well, it is good too. All that will let me reduce the probability all to zero and I will bravely walk on to my brand new life with no guilt, no apologies, no nothing. It left only negative negative impressions of the end. And all the more I blamed myself for not ending things earlier. Way back like a yr back from the zouk incident to lotsa things, why did I feel softened and throw out chances all the time?

But well I am so so happy and I feel more relieved. Only a little bit of regret about things that have happened. They should not even take place in the first place. Hf should have followed her heart in the first place and not xin luan multiple times.

Yeah, and I will go on to follow my heart now without fear. When u really love or like a person, nothing changes it. When u no longer love or like a person, nothing changes it either. I heard sth like this from an interview with Gigi Leung. That's what she said.. when a person stops liking you, no matter what u do will not bring a change of heart. I so agree with that coz there are so many times I felt that I dont like someone anymore, no matter how they plead and beg.. I will be just so cold coz I really just dont feel anything for him anymore. Well but if there are feelings in the first place and the will is there to get someone back, I will stick to my principles and do things that are right and not give up so easily. At least for a while. Not just months. Otherwise, it goes to show how weak I am to fall to easier alternatives - that just means the person is not mature and wen zhong enough. And these people are never my type. I am a very strong and principled person and I need someone more than this.

The sky was beautiful yesterday with pretty clouds. And when I was at demsey last night, clouds form the same pattern and the sky was lit with moonlight. It is beautiful. So are my fridays. Despite all the shit work that xp gives me.. I know what else can motivates me in life.