I just got back from my 2-week holiday in Japan. It's a fantastic trip..so good that I don't feel like going back to work anymore. Im missing it from the second I alighted from the train to Narita airport.

So many things have happened over these few months. That I nearly even wanted to cancel the trip. So many miracles also happened in the same period. Went thru large swings in moods as well as extremes in moods... N this was also the period I realised and got enlightened on so many things. Felt so much older and felt like a different person. Saw perspectives Ive never seen before and I really appreciate everything and everyone around me.

I guess it's only this time I realised how important health is. And I really wish for good health for myself and everyone around me. It is scary how health can ruin somebody's life. N it is also scary how bad health can take away money...that's when I also became desperate for money. But like what my friend said, he's glad that I am looking at proper means to that instead of turning to some weird channels. It was also the first time I have to put principles and needs on the same table and make decisions. I made all the right choices and decisions. And even though I did not feel that I needed anyone by my side, I am still glad that someone stood by me all the time. It is funny isnt it..the more depressed and down I am, the more I feel independent and the more I feel that I can walk alone. Perhaps there is a breaking point? After a certain breaking point of depression, I feel that way? Otherwise, during my usual small sadnesses, I would want to talk to somebody..

And one of the good miracles amidst the bad things that happened was I think I am in love again. I never expected myself to fall in love again since many yrs ago. Somehow I am feeling some kinda feelings that I have not felt for very long so I guess that must be love. What kind of love I am not sure.. but it would be sth that may turn its back to hurt me very deeply should it fail. Not too sure if I'm ready to bear the risk, but there is no turning back for me already. I don't know what would be the outcome and whats gona be in the future... all I can pray for is as many right paths as possible at all the crossroads in my life so that I can be led to as close to the rainbow as possible. With my love by my side, of course.