A long tiring but rather happy day. Though ended the day on a little small sad note. I attended my fren's ROM today. Beautiful setting at keppel club, nice pavilion by the sea and in front of a pool. Just a little pity that it was raining. But well, most importantly, it's abt the couple that look really happy and blissful. It's such a special occassion for both of them n I felt really happy for her. I was a little sick before going there but once I reached there, the happiness I felt for her just somehow overwhelmed all that. I just love attending such happy events. N these are events that make me feel so so happy even though it's not for myself. I can be happy the whole day just seeing a happy couple tie the knot.

Ironically, I am someone that still does not believe in marriages. Maybe, it's not the lack of belief but the lack of courage. Marriage, to me, is like a promise, a decision that involves a great deal of certainty. It is definitely not just a paper to me, it is something further and deeper way beyond all the legal implications of that piece of paper. And this decision has to be made with maturity. But to me, marriage and relationships have lost that magical element after all these yrs. I used to envision really beautiful relationships and companionships that is so magical when I was young. But as I walked on in life, I realised it is not as beautiful as I thought or as I want it to be. I think it is because of my experiences that I have. Not that I have not experienced the magic of love before, just that I have experienced and witnessed much more hurting things before. It really drains one as you walk in and out of people's lives, of relationships, of courtships etc etc. I lost track of how many times I have walked in and out of others' lives and each time it is different. And each time I walked out, the me is slightly different and slightly more jaded. Guess that's why now I feel so drained and just don't have the same kinda energy and freshness that I used to have facing new relationships. But I think the largest factor is still the fear and lack of courage. I just cannot imagine walking into someone's life and coming out of it again. I do not think I can recover as fast and most likely I will choose to be single for life. To me, going into a relationship now is as gd as taking a huge risk. I will never know how I will walk out of it.. I will never know how I may be hurt.. though there is a possibility that is may lead to sth happy that may just transform my life. But I still don't have the courage to try..

Anyway, I watched sex and the city today too. It is awesome. Fantastic show. The 2.5 hours definitely din feel like it was. Shall blog abt it another time =)