Im addicted to GossipGirl. Almost finishing my season 1. A catfight show that surprisingly got me hooked. I was just thinkin back about the last half a yr that past and the people that were in my life.. People who support me, people I have hurt, people who hurt me..

Very recently, I feel lost. Not only in career but also in my personal life. I cant really tell what Im feeling and what I really want. I think only outsiders will be able to tell. There quite a number of times when I feel so exhausted by politics and everything that I wish I can have a shoulder to lie on. Someone who understands how I feel and can lend that comfortable shoulder providing that emotional comfort without saying a word. I did run into someone who can because we have so much chemistry that we do not have to speak much to understand wat each other wants and wat each other likes. Unfortunately, hes a fren that can only be momentarily be there for me in that way. I wish we can be frens, really plain frens that supports each other thruout. But he is doing all those irritating over-the-line things that ironically makes me feel very insecure. One good thing, though, is that after these months I really confirm that what everione tot abt us is wrong. At least I know that I don't like him.. he still harbours thought of me being his gf one day or at least thats what he told me. But I took it as a joke or one of his playful words since thats him. So hopefully he gets back with his ex and don't come and disturb me. Ya.. finally a bye to that playful boy that results in rumours abt us in the firm.

Because I subconsciously have allowed someone else to supersede a particular position in my heart. Yet to fully confirm but at least it is sth new I discover abt myelf very very recently.

I dunno wats gona happen and dunno wat everithing is gona be like so Im just going to remember everything that I have from him right now. Perhaps one day in future Im going to play a song and miss him.. Perhaps one day in future I may not be in contact with him.. Whatever it is.. I think he is someone I will remember. And cherish, at least for now.