Came back from HSBC I-banking and I know im not cut out for it. Even if i have the passion, I don't have that energy, that stamina to just live that kinda life, if you call it life. Life basically = work. And he is right, in i banking, the environment and team is so important because they will become your life. Oh well, in such an environment, plus its male dominated.. hmm. Like what he said its as bad as "i better call my fren at 2am to remind them that i exist else i will lose my frens within weeks or months" , "if u r not attached, get attached now because there is no chance n no time for you to do so after u r into in", "n when u get attached, get an air stewardess, coz she will be flying all the time and she wun complain that you are not seeing her (coz u will be working nearli throughout the week, with no sleep)". Hillarious, everyone laughed.

Ok so what? Seeing all the familiar faces at those invites, hearing those competitive stuff over and over again just disheartened me. Demoralised. Im like speck in the middle of nowhere. Cant head up, yet dun feel like looking down too much. But now im gona just take anything that comes my way if anything does come. Kinda sux when u jus apply apply apply and hear nothing. When others are already going for interviews. Oh well. Maybe I should just aim to be a tai tai. But its just so not me la. Tai tai life? Nayz. I like life with challenges and excitement, but not too extreme of coz. I need to carve sth out for myself. Maybe hmm, till I have a family yeah. Ahhh. SIGH!!