Was reading this forum thread "To love or to be loved"
http://www.singaporebrides.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/discus.cgi?pg=prev&topic=5&page=376620 It's kind of interesting and sometimes heartwarming to know that there are people still genuinely giving themselves to 101% hoping to get sth back in return at the expense of getting hurt at the end of everything. And heartwarming to know that people do succeed and find a happy place and person to settle with after many painful n devastating failures. As I read, I felt that I might have been in happiness that I didn't know, at the same time feeling that I shouldn't haven given up since years back on things I was looking for (then I probably wudn't have made a mistake coz of my stubborness and cynical mind). But well, these are contradictory thoughts that would have led to different outcomes. Somehow, Im being forced to sit on the wall again after more than one attempt to leave. Im quite xinluan, I would say, to attempt again. Knowing how bad it feels to be hurt, how painful it is to be left hurt, I don't want to hurt someone too. What am I supposed to do.. I wish time can either turn back but since it is not possible, I wish it can be fast forwarded! Then, I probably would know what I really need. I will still smile nevertheless, right now.
